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I get to love myself unconditionally. I wanted him to be somebody else. So much so that I actually recall instances in which I wished in horror that myself would get cancer and die a painful death. Somehow they seem to open something up to a greater experience of itself — the fullness and richness of itself. I just know it is true for me right now. Suffering was something I was doing. And for years I had been at war with the feeling states, thinking that would solve the problem.

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